In the news business, there is a saying: “If your mother says she loves you, check it out.” If you’re going to publish something thousands will read, you can’t think you’ve got it right. You have to know it’s right. All the details have to be checked out. The stakes — your audience’s trust, for example — are always high.
How do you know when you’ve got it right? How do you know you’ve asked the right questions? How do you know if the answers are the real answers? How do you know that you have not just the best information you can get, but that it is accurate information?
The ability to listen, to evaluate, and to test the information you’ve been given is a skill that can be learned — and it’s one that is valuable across industries, not just for those who have a notebook in hand and an audience to hold them accountable. Being able to get good information, know when you have it, and use it to inform your work builds credibility, a critical trait for all leaders.
Here are a few techniques you can put into practice today:
Prepare for your conversation ahead of time
Know what your goal is. What do you need to learn from the conversation? Think through the questions you have. Consider any details you need to verify. Is there anything that is unclear to you, something you want to hear explained? What specifically do you need to learn in order to make a decision or trust other information you already have? This preparation doesn’t need to take long. Spend five or 10 minutes before your meeting and make a quick list of bullet points that you can use as a reminder to yourself during the discussion.
In the business world, as we run from conference call to conference call, it’s easy to let others set the agenda and passively take in whatever information they share. But knowing what you need to listen for will focus your attention during the conversation and allow you to direct it and get what you need.
Evaluate your source
This technique is one you employ internally as you listen to the answers you are being given. As someone discusses a topic or responds to your questions, ask yourself: How do they know? Job titles aren’t always the best indicator of whether someone can provide the information you need. How many levels removed are they from the details you need to understand? How much do they have invested in the topic at hand? Observe how they speak: Are they precise in their language? Do they use a lot of clichés? Do they tend to let you know when they don’t know something? Do they always have an answer? How confident do they sound? Do they clear their throat a lot? Do they deflect questions? Can they explain X differently if you ask them to?
Your goal is to determine how much weight you can give to the information they’re sharing with you. If you feel good about the information, you’ll still want to test it later (see the last tip in this list). But if you have any doubts, you don’t want to run with the information they gave you.
Stay out of the way
This is the technique that comes the least naturally. We all want to be heard and to share what we know. Few of us have a lot of time to spare. But how you participate in the conversation will affect the way the other person reacts to you and directly impact the quality of the information they’ll give you.
- Don’t be in a rush — even if you are. Ask direct questions to focus the conversation and prioritize your questions just in case. But speak in a normal pace. Don’t interrupt, don’t look at your phone, don’t type an email while you talk. They’ve given you their time. They need to feel your full attention.
- Use the silence. When there is a pause in the conversation, wait a beat or two or three longer than feels comfortable. Many people need time to gather their thoughts. Sometimes they hope if they pause long enough, they’ll avoid giving an answer. Don’t fill the silence. It usually means you’ve asked something important. Wait for their response.
- Let them be the expert. You’ve done a lot of homework, and may bring your own expertise to the conversation but avoid preambles, knowledge sharing, and corrections. These can lead them to make assumptions about what you know, and that can change the nature of the information they share with you. Instead, keep the focus on them. Let what you know work behind-the-scenes, informing the questions you ask of them.
Find a second source
This is where you test both the information you received and your own understanding of it. Ask another source or two the same questions. Listen and observe. Are the answers the same? Do they give the same details? Do they fill in gaps you didn’t know existed or explain an important concept differently that changes your own understanding? Evaluate each source just as you did the first. The more people you can talk to, the better. But always find a second source.
There is a lot to gain in getting the details right. You have to work for them. But seeing the full picture, understanding the story, and letting that show in the decisions you make builds trust with those around you and gives you credibility with wider audiences. It’s what you need to get their attention and to make meaningful changes.